White Stripes Break-up, Middle America Asks "That Gum With Those Zebra Tattoos?"

Funkadelic hipster types have even more reason to mope and not smile. The band The White Stripes have officially broken up. We shall no longer hear that blaring yet simple drum beat in scummy college bars or make-fun of our friends who are learning the melody to "Blue Orchid" on their dad's old guitar with the missing string. What the hell am I supposed to talk about when I want to impress those guys from that band that played at that coffee shop that one time?

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Jack White and Meg White have stated that they want  "to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way." Yeah that's great and all but what I really want to know is are they brother and sister, married, going steady, or what? If you're taking away your music at least give me something as a conversation starter at parties. Besides alternative rock songs by The White Stripes I suppose incest is the next best thing to talk about. Eh Jen?