The One with the Laminated Lists

While we're on the subject:

The subject is celebrity crushes we'd like to be on.

My last post mentioned my Celebrity Husband, Alan, which reminded me of a fantastic FRIENDS episode, The One with Frank Jr.

Ross: (to Isabella Rossellini) Hi! Hi, I’m Ross, you don’t know me, but I’m a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee?
Isabella: Aren’t you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but that’s okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so I’m allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, it’s flattery.
Isabella: (reading the list) I’m not on the list!
Ross: Um, see, but that’s not the final draft.
Isabella: It’s laminated!
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Isabella: Y'know it’s ironic...
Ross: What?
Isabella: ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. (points at a guy and leaves)
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) We’re just gonna be friends.

 Laminated List Weigh-Ins








Kelsey: (If one day time travel is possible, Alan Alda and Danny Kaye, I got my eye on you)  But for the moment...


5.) Colin Firth
4.) Bradley Whitford
3.) Robert Downey Jr.
2.) Kevin Kline
(time travel would be nice for a few of those too, but regardless, I'm not ashamed.)

1. Zac Efron

ETA:  Well after everyone else weighed in, I now feel pressure to add a girl crush as well - so Colin Firth, I am sorry, but you have been replaced.  By Gillian Anderson.

Kevin:

5. Harrison Ford (set time machine to Temple of Doom - era)
4. Rob Lowe (time machine to 1988 Democratic Convention - era)
3. Susan Sarandon (Present day post-Robbins pig spanking era)
2. James Franco (Freaks and Geeks preferred)

1.) Montgomery Clift  (Even post accident. Broken time machine? Well, hell, even now. Yes I know what that means.)

Jen: 

 5. James Spader (preferably pre-"Boston Legal" era, but as long as he's still dirty and perverted, any era will do.)
4. Michelle Williams (like Jaz below me, I've chosen to include female crushes. And Michelle's just so gosh darn lovely.)
3. Christoph Waltz (Guys I promise I mean normal Christoph, not crazy-Nazi-Tarantino Christoph. Relax.)
2. Eva Green (Those eyes. That rack.)

1. Michael Pitt (Two words: "The Dreamers.")

Jaz: Okay for the sake of this list I have included my girl crushes as well. {Ahem}

5. Michael Sheen (Circa 2003 or in his Tron: Legacy Costume)
4. Jennifer Connelly (If I was a serial killer I would just poke out her eyes and put them in a jar, they're so beautiful.)
3. Kate Beckinsale (Perfect bone structure, luscious hair, and a sense of humor?)
2. Bruce Willis (Anywhere, anytime, any place he may sex me up)

1. Alexander Skaarsgard ( It is my dream to have a 6 foot 5 lover with a face chiseled by the gods who can whisper sweet Swedish nothings in my ear.) 

DEAR READERS: Submit YOUR lists in the comments section, and if you feel the urge, send it to your spouse. You never know...