Apparently, Lindsay Lohan Has Nothing Better To Do

Sporkers,
The once adorable ginger haired sweetie we all miss from "The Parent Trap" and that movie where Tyra Banks is a doll who becomes human, is making a HUGE life change.

Let ME tell them the good news Tyra!

Find out what after the jump!

Lindsay Lohan will no longer be Lindsay Lohan. No, I don't mean she's giving up her self-destructive ways and actually living up to that tiny spark of potential that she has remaining. I mean legally she is dropping her last name. She shall be dubbed just "Lindsay" from now on and forever. 

Look how much fun I'm having world!

Personally I think this is a big mistake. By which I mean, I know at least eighty-seven girls named Lindsay, all of whom I associate with a last name. If I'm hollering for one down the hall how am I supposed to indicate which Lindsay I mean if I don't follow up with a surname? Sure she's copying the greats like Beyonce, Oprah, and Madonna but when is the last time you knew anyone with those names in the first place? Not to mention those stated above have been recognized for positive contributions to society rather than poor lifestyle choices.

I'm feeeelin' the music, man.

This is a family affair. Dina Lohan and Ali Lohan are converting their surnames to Sullivan (Dina's maiden name.) Apparently they don't want anything to do with  Lindsay's father Michael Lohan because he's an embarrassment to their family. Really?