Another Sporklie

The juiciest category in any Oscar season is Best Supporting Actress, where the Academy awards the actress who dismisses "supporting" status and instead steals the show.

The list of winners comprises an Olympus-worthy assortment of Elite Aesthetes, from Meryl Streep to Mo'Nique, who expertly concluded that smaller parts require bigger acting (and a cigarette).

Step Right Up, Sporklie #2 Goes To....

Annnd, ladies and gentlemen, as the proud presenter of the Oscar for most GQ-Worthy Sidekick Sporklie for Best Supporting Actor, I would like to call...

Think you're going to find out that easily, Sporkers? Think again! More after the jump.

The First Sporklie Spork Award Goes To...

The Sporklie Awards, which hereby commence on this laudable date in time of history and such things, do not exist as a mere echo of critical establishment, nor as a fawning gesture of thin praise, nor as a mockery of film.  A Sporklie is not an Oscar, it is not a Golden Globe, and it is not a Razzie. A Sporklie Spork honors other qualities.  With certainty, yes, a Sporklie upholds Truth, Beauty, Freedom, Love, and the whole Moulin Rouge. But a Sporklie, above all of this, stands for something else: Justice. The Spork is able to slide through the soup of talent and stab that which is juiciest, rescuing it from the stewy bottom and cradling it to the surface, to be devoured with appreciation and glee, for Justice to be Served.

And in the name of Justice, a Sporklie serves the Oscar Snubbed.  Film Spork hereby announces the Sporklie Spork for Leading Actress in a Motion Picture, after the JUMP!