Tati's Last Wish: "May Every 20-Something See 'L'Illusionniste' and Get Laid"

My dearest Sporkettes (Sporkinis? Sporkers? Spatulas?),

In light of my last post endorsing two rather naughty Oscar contenders, I've decided to give my seal of approval to another Oscar-nominated foreign film that is family friendly. And I don't mean "family friendly" in the way that "Dogtooth" or "The Dreamers" meant it. In fact, it has earned my just-now created elusive prize for "Most Date-Worthy Date Movie." Read: There are no awkward love scenes, no one's head gets blown off, and it doesn't star a Jennifer, Ashton, Gerard or Jamie. Read further: It will probably provoke thoughtful discussion, earn you/your date hyper-cool, artsy-fartsy points, offend few sensibilities, and (most importantly) make sure you both get laid go home happy.

"The Illusionist," Sylvain Chomet's second feature (following 2003's "The Triplets of Belleville"), is a breathtakingly-animated love letter not to France, but to the rugged beauty of Edinburgh. Though based on a previously unproduced script by Jacques Tati and featuring a protagonist that draws heavily on Tati's famed Monsieur Hulot, Chomet's film has a poignancy and sweetness unmatched by his Film God of a predecessor. To clear things up: yes, I saw it on a date. And yes, my date earned triple-digit cool points for not automatically assuming that I'm the type of girl who likes really disgustingly deranged foreign films. He'll figure this out later.


READ ON to discover to awesomely awesome...and awesomely bad....date movies.


So, readers, I'm curious. What are your top 3 (atypical, please....if someone includes "The Notebook" or "Moulin Rouge," I'll bite your ass. Really, I will.) best date movies? Top 3 worst?  I've included all of my picks, most of which are still in theaters. May they guide you wisely on your next outing.


Best 
The Illusionist -- If you're confused, just read the first part of my post, dammit.
Black Swan -- Girls: This says, "I'm really into risk-takers like Aronofsky, plus I am so 21st century that I don't even care that you, my date, are only here because of Mila and Natalie. In fact, I'll pretend I'm into that too." Guys: If you could actually take a bathroom break during Mila and Natalie's big scene, and then not act disappointed to have missed it, you will be going home with your date. I promise.
True Grit -- Nothing is more inoffensive yet statement-making than a Western + the Coen Brothers. Right?

Worst
Blue Valentine -- Ok, the charming tale of how two people fall madly in, then out, of love. Featuring some really, really awkward sex. You probably won't be able to make eye contact with your date after the credits role.
Black Swan -- So, let's see. Girls: If you are offended by the prospect of your date fantasizing about ballerinas while you're making out later in the evening, or if you're afraid that after watching Vincent Cassel in action, no American in his 20s could possibly do it for you, probably just avoid this. Guys: I know you'd really only be here for lesbian sex. Who was I kidding placing this on the "best" list.
No Strings Attached -- Unless you want to send a really, really clear message. Plus, it sucks.

Risk-Takers  These may work out in your favor. Or they may send your date running towards the nearest exit.
Dogtooth -- Incest, near-fratricide, controlling parents, weirder than David Lynch, crueler than Lars von Trier....hey! Some people are into that! 
The Fighter -- Yes, it's violent and raunchy, so don't bring a sensitive soul. But Christian Bale and Marky Mark are so good that they make up for any romance-quashing beat-downs/crack benders.
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never -- Most of us enjoy a good black comedy, yeah? And don't lie, you and your date probably both have crushes on the Biebs.